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PAST CLASSICS: Christmastime is Here
Team Hurley tinfoil robot brother (2002). Runs on 4 car batteries. Programable Polish, Spanish, Jamaican and British accents. Hours of fun. Key phrases: ‘That’s Tight,’ ‘Holt Up,’ ‘What’d I Just Say?’ and ‘Low Battery.’ Also includes ‘laugh mode,’ which samples your own laugh and doubles it perfectly. Operating volume is no louder than a household vacuum cleaner (90 decibels).
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PAST CLASSICS:
“Legacy is the word you’re looking for…”
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PAST CLASSICS: HR-Loween, 2003
‘For the 9th straight year, Team Hurley chooses ‘hobos’ among a densely populated list of far more promising Halloween costumes.’
A ‘Game Faces’ calendar classic. Now subtly colorized for maximum hilarity.
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Team HR Presents: ‘According to My Man’
One of the first DVD’s my man owned was Logan’s Run. This was because it was in the bargain bin and the cover ‘looked tight.’ My man is def interested in ‘bargain tightness.’ My man is frequently ‘not too worried about it.’ My man strongly requests that you get up off and out his general perimeter. What my man just say? My man will slay you with your own self-evaluation when he puts on the full-court scoff. In other words, if you like something, my man will scoff at it, causing you to rethink your whole deal. My man would now like you to please pass the Pringles. Out my man’s way.
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WARDROBE AND PROP SERIES: Kyle Menendez Two-Button Blazer
Originally discovered in a Staunton resale shop, this two button blazer is probably the only store-bought sport coat that has ever fit me perfectly. Although I almost never wear this blazer, I do use it as a fitted template for virtually all my suit adjustments. I was initially way more excited about this purchase, as I was under the impression that it might have once belonged to a certain famous Menendez brother (member of the permanently jailed ‘Team Menendez’). Evidently, the brother I was thinking of is ‘Lyle,’ not ‘Kyle.’ Just to point out, there are a considerable number of other people on the internet that are also under the impression that one of the Menendez brothers is named ‘Kyle.’
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WARDROBE AND PROP SERIES: ‘Tempo’ Electric Guitar Amplifier
It may surprise one or two people that no music was made while the above photograph was taken. This prop amplifier was a working prop, but barely…I believe it was somewhere around 5 watts. Kyle looks more like he is ready to baste a chicken rather than drive a rhythm, and I seem talentlessly fixated on whatever advice our off-screen manager is feeding us. My man ZLP actually managed to keep a straight face while I gave him money in exchange for the amp.
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WARDROBE AND PROP SERIES: Motorola 120C Cellular Phone
This was my first cell phone, purchased from a small Verizon store on Wilshire Blvd in the summer of 2002. It had a flimsy, retractable antenna that I personally managed to keep in tact until the final few months of use. As illustrated here, I was the first brother to own a cell phone.
We bear the same coat of arms. We have been baptized by eagle tears, showered in a hail of Zuesian tightness. You hear two laughs of the same voice. You are confused. Go with it.
